Social Events for October 15, 2014

• “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, October 15, 2014, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., NOLA, LCCU Conference Room #140
• “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, October 15, 2014, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., Ste 145, NOLA, St. Joseph Bereavement Office

“In My Heart”

For our 2006 Memorial Service, I felt inspired to write a poem entitled “In My Heart.” I am going to share that poem with our blog world today, with a question for you to ponder as you read it: Who lives on in your heart?

IN MY HEART

In my heart he believes in me as no one has or will.

In my heart he listens to my cries and holds me still.

In my heart he whispers when I’m scared, “It will be okay.”

In my heart he waits for me in our old familiar spot each day.

 

In my heart she cheers me on when I’m ready to give up.

In my heart she gives me strength for the battles to come.

In my heart she is proud of the person I’ve become.

In my heart she forgives me for all the wrong I’ve done.

 

In my heart we walk side by side just soaking up the view.

In my heart we dance to an old familiar tune.

In my heart we talk and laugh for hours without end.

In my heart we are together forever…and ever..Amen. (KAS)

Copyright © 2014 by Kim Smith

The “Death with Dignity” Debate Continues

Every few years, a story hits the mainstream media which brings the “Death with Dignity” debate back to forefront. Such a story surfaced this week with the choice of Brittany Maynard, a 29-year-old young lady with terminal brain cancer. Per her story from cnn.com, Brittany stated: “I quickly decided that death with dignity was the best option for me and my family.” In Brittany’s mind, “death with dignity” meant Oregon’s “legal” assisted suicide. Please read her complete story at http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/07/opinion/maynard-assisted-suicide-cancer-dignity/index.html before you continue reading.

Another portion of the article stood out to me: “I considered passing away in hospice care at my San Francisco Bay-area home. But even with palliative medication, I could develop potentially morphine-resistant pain and suffer personality changes and verbal, cognitive and motor loss of virtually any kind. Because the rest of my body is young and healthy, I am likely to physically hang on for a long time even though cancer is eating my mind. I probably would have suffered in hospice care for weeks or even months. And my family would have had to watch that.” My immediate thought is that her family would then have the opportunity to share the journey together and relish the moments of caring for the one they love.

I am not the only one who has felt moved to respond to this article, and I would like to share a response you may not see on CNN or any other mainstream media outlet, but it is one worth sharing. It is a response from someone else who is battling a terminal diagnosis herself but has chosen a different path. Here is Kara Tippett’s letter to Brittany: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/10/dear-brittany-why-we-dont-have-to-be-so-afraid-of-dying-suffering-that-we-choose-suicide/

The “Death with Dignity” debate will continue and choices regarding hospice care for loved ones are made every day. If you would like to explore further some of the advantages of hospice care for your loved one or so that you might better understand what hospice offers, please watch the “Hospice- Something More” 15-minute video at http://hospicefoundation.org/End-of-Life-Support-and-Resources/Coping-with-Terminal-Illness/Hospice-Services .

“They Didn’t Forget They Died” (Perinatal Grief)

Until I found this excellent quote, I had never heard of “UnspokenGrief.com.” I decided to check it out, and I belief it is a resource worth investigating. Here is the mission statement for the organization: “to build and support a community of individuals and families who have been touched directly or indirectly by miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal loss. Working together to remove the stigma of perinatal grief by sharing our stories and increasing awareness of the lasting effects of perinatal loss.” (www.unspokengrief.com)

Although the sentiment below was written specifically about the death of a child, I believe it can be applied to how we deal with others who are dealing with the death of anyone they love. My favorite line is this: “What you’re reminding them of is that you remember that they lived.” What an excellent reminder for all of us of the importance of remembering and speaking about those so loved and missed.

“Coping with the Aftermath of Suicide” by Drs. Doug & BJ Benson (Video from The Compassionate Friends)

 

Link to “The 8 Worst Things You Can Say to Someone Who Is Grieving” by Christy Heitger-Ewing

So many times over the years, I have had our bereaved comment about the “stupid things” people have said to them after the death of their loved one. When I happened upon this article, I just had to share:

The 8 Worst Things You Can Say to Someone Who Is Grieving by Christy Heitger-Ewing

The first 7 of them, I totally understand the reason they made the list. However, I have to admit I have said the 8th one many times, and I honestly am not sure exactly why it is on the list. If you have any insight as to why this might be considered offensive to someone, I would love to read your comments. You can either post them on this blog entry or you can e-mail me at stjosephnober@yahoo.com.

“The Little Angel’s Foundation”

Sometimes you come across a story which just has to be shared. The story in the YouTube story below is one of those. After you have watched the information about “The Little Angel’s Foundation,” please continue reading.

I chose to post this information for two reasons. First, I want to get the word out about this option for parents who’ve had children die. I am blown away by the generosity of this carpenter and the ministry he has. Please help me in spreading the word to those who might have need of this service or know of those who do. Secondly, I think this story could be an inspiration for some of our bereaved who are struggling with a sense of purpose after a loved one’s dies. As you have heard from this carpenter, he struggled to find his purpose for many years. Isn’t it amazing to see what happened when his desire to make a difference and his passion for helping others was partnered with his God-given talent for carpentry which was matched with a need in the lives of grieving parents?

What about you? For what do you have a passion? What are your God-given talents? If your passion was matched with your talents, how could you make a difference? If you would like some assistance in thinking through your purpose, please call me (Kim) at 504-734-0140 or via e-mail at stjosephnober@yahoo.com.