Our August seminar topic deals with some of the many misconceptions bereaved have encountered regarding the grief process. The step graphic reminded me of one of those misconceptions. One of the frequent questions we receive is "how long is 'this' going to take?" We live in what some term a "microwave society." We want what we want, and we want it yesterday. Our days are so focused on how much we can get done and how fast we can do it all. Speed is our goal.
No wonder we run across a grief misconception based upon this same philosophy: "After someone you love dies, the goal should be to 'get over' your grief as soon as possible." Have you ever watched a track meet, possibly during the Olympics? If you have, you know there is a world of difference between the 100 meter dash (a sprint event), and a marathon (26.2 mile run). Well, grief is not a sprint, although many want it to be. It seems that the philosophy of many is: "I will run really fast and really hard for a short amount of time, and 'it' will be over." That may work in a 100 meter dash but grief experienced after the death of a loved one does not work that way. Grief is much more like a marathon. In order to work through your grief, you will have to be persistent, realizing some steps will be tougher than others. Just like a marathon, you may feel at times you have "hit a wall." Instead of a wall of physical exhaustion, this wall may be more of the emotional kind. You may have a day when you say, "These emotions are so overwhelming. I just can't do this." And yet, you can and you will. You will press through the emotional "wall," and you will continue on your grief journey. So take it, “One Step at a Time, One Day at a Time, One Hour at a Time.”
Copyright © 2014 by Kim Smith
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