“Women Do Not Understand Male Grief….” Do You Agree?

I was exploring The Grief Toolbox website a moment ago and came upon a most interesting article by Mark Mercer entitled “What Women Should Know About Male Grief.” Here is how the article begins:

"Men grieve far more than we show or discuss.”

The first thing women should know about male grief is that we have a lot of it. It is pushed into many darkened corners of our lives. We try to stay very, very busy.

Per my observations over the years, I definitely agree with Mr. Mercer’s opening statements. What about you? Whether male or female, do you agree that “men grieve far more than [they] show or discuss”? If you would like to comment publicly, use the comment box below.

He also tells one particular story I would like you to read and ponder:

So whenever possible men resort to physical expressions of grief. In its healthier forms this would be some type of vigorous manual labor. A bereaved father once told me that he got a pile of wood and spent hours in his workshop, sawing boards. He wasn't building anything, just sawing. He was conscious that he was releasing powerful feelings by the strenuous and repetitive exercise, which served no purpose whatever other than to be strenuous, repetitive, and release powerful feelings. It would be fair to say that he converted his tears into sweat.

What other physical expressions of grief have you observed, either in male or female grievers? The first example which comes to my mind is mourning through an athletic venue, whether running, boxing, swimming, etc. Any examples you can think of and would like to share so others might better understand this topic?

There are many other points I could pull out and comment on, but my favorite line in the article is this one: “Women do not understand male grief. That is largely because men don't understand it either.” For any of the male readers of this blog, do you agree? If so, why or why not? I would love to receive some feedback from you, either via the comment box or at ksmith@stjosephhospice.com.

Copyright © 2015 by Kim Smith