Social Events for Wednesday, December 16, 2015

• “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, December 16, 2015, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA
• 
• “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, December 16, 2015, from 8am-9:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA.

Upcoming Seminar on Monday, December 14: “Honoring the Memory of Your Loved One During the Holidays”

Do you find yourself dreading this holiday season? So many bereaved express concerns about this particular time of year and how they are going to “deal” with the changes of not having their loved one with them. This seminar will give you many ideas for ways to honor your loved one’s memory during this holiday season. You will also benefit from being in the midst of others who are dealing with many of the same questions and concerns.

When?—December 14 from 6pm-7pm

Where?--LCCU Conference Room (#140) Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

Social Event for Thursday, November 19, 2015: “Haven of Hope” for Adult Children & Grandchildren

On Thursday, November 19, 2015, St. Joseph Hospice will host our “Haven of Hope” social event for the adult children & grandchildren of our St. Joseph Hospice patients. You are invited to attend this bi-monthly event, designed specifically to create a connection between the adult children of our St. Joseph Hospice patients. This is a social group, and NOT a support group, although you should feel a sense of support as a result of the social interaction.

For each meeting, we will provide a light meal (i.e., finger sandwiches w/dessert and tea/water). No registration needed. For more information, please call Kim at (504) 734-0140 or contact via e-mail at ksmith@stjosephhospice.com.

TIME: 6pm-7:30pm

LOCATION:

St. Joseph Hospice & Palliative Care

824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

LCCU Conference Room 140

New Orleans, LA 70123

Social Events for Wednesday, November 18, 2015

• “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, November 18, 2015, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA
• 
• “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, November 18, 2015, from 8am-9:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA.  (NOTE THE NEW TIME BEGINNING THIS MONTH)

Upcoming Seminar on Monday, November 9: “Handling the Holidays”

Each year we receive more questions about how to deal with the holidays than about any other topic. As a result, we have devoted 2 monthly seminars to that topic. Have you seen specific dates coming on the upcoming calendar and cringed? Are you planning to “escape” the holidays? Please attend either one or both of these seminars and consider “attacking the holidays” instead of allowing them to “attack you.”

When?—November 9 from 6pm-7pm

Where?--LCCU Conference Room (#140) Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

Social Events for Wednesday, October 21, 2015

• “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, October 21, 2015, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA
• 
• “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, October 21, 2015, from 8am-9:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA.

Upcoming Seminar on Monday, October 12: “Cherishing Your Memories”

When you think of your loved one, what comes to mind—a special vacation, your wedding day, the day she was born, his graduation day, Mardi Gras parades, picnics by the lakefront…? We are going to discuss the importance of cherishing those memories and some practical suggestions of how that can be done. Please be thinking about some special memories as you prepare to come to this seminar.

When?—October 12 from 6pm-7pm

Where?--LCCU Conference Room (#140) Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

Social Event for Thursday, September 17, 2015: “Haven of Hope” for Adult Children & Grandchildren

On Thursday, September 17, 2015, St. Joseph Hospice will host our “Haven of Hope” social event for the adult children & grandchildren of our St. Joseph Hospice patients. You are invited to attend this bi-monthly event, designed specifically to create a connection between the adult children of our St. Joseph Hospice patients. This is a social group, and NOT a support group, although you should feel a sense of support as a result of the social interaction.

For each meeting, we will provide a light meal (i.e., finger sandwiches w/dessert and tea/water). No registration needed. For more information, please call Kim at (504) 734-0140 or contact via e-mail at ksmith@stjosephhospice.com.

TIME: 6pm-7:30pm

LOCATION:

St. Joseph Hospice & Palliative Care

824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

LCCU Conference Room 140

New Orleans, LA 70123

Social Events for Wednesday, September 16, 2015

• “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, September 16, 2015, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA
• 
• “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, September 16, 2015, from 8am-9:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA. 

“Everything I Do Is Stitched with Its Color.”

“Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.”– W.S. Merwin

Do you find this sentiment to be true in your own life?

• If so, what color is the thread? Why that color?
• As you look at the stitchwork, what picture is currently being created? How does the “special thread” add to the picture? Does it, in any way, take away from the picture you had previously been creating?
• Will it be possible to incorporate the “special thread” into your tapestry and create a beautiful piece of art?
• Does Hurricane Katrina also have a specific thread color? If so, do you still see its affect on the picture or have the colors of the last 10 years overtaken the strong impact of the “Katrina thread”?

Copyright © 2015 by Kim Smith

 

Upcoming Seminar on Monday, September 14: “Complicated Mourning”

This seminar has been designed to address the topic of complicated mourning. What are the factors predictive of complicated mourning? Is there anything you can do to keep mourning from becoming “complicated?” If so, what might that be? How do you determine whether what you are experiencing is a normal part of the grief process or something that might need some therapeutic intervention.

When?—September 14 from 6pm-7pm

Where?--LCCU Conference Room (#140) Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

Sesame Street: “When Families Grieve Message for Families: The Memory Box”

Did You Lose Your “Co-Rememberer?”

“The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we’d done were less real and important than they had been hours before.”

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I can’t say I had encountered the term “co-rememberer” until I read the quote above. Possibly you lost a “co-rememberer” of a specific season of your life, such as former teammate with whom you shared a common goal and accomplishments. You may, however, have lost a “co-rememberer” of a lifetime. One example of this could be a parent who has, not only known you from birth til now, but maybe that parent has remained an integral part of your life, possibly becoming your closest friend after you reached adulthood. Maybe your “co-rememberer” was your spouse, with whom you shared your hopes, dreams, pains, sorrows, for the majority of your life? What about a sibling? A sibling may be your playmate in childhood, your rival in your teen years and your best encourager in adulthood, being a part of your life for longer than a parent, spouse or child.

The loss of a “co-rememberer” is loss of your history and a loss you will need to work through. If this is the case for you, how have you attempted to capture the shared memories, so they will not be lost forever? Maybe you have created a scrapbook or a memory box, in which you have placed special pictures, sayings, clippings, and other memorabilia. Any other suggestions? If you have any, please place in the comment box below, so others can benefit from your activity or ritual.

“…The Only One Who Knows What My Heart Sounds Like from the Inside.”

“No one can know how much I love you, because you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.”  (Unknown Author)

What happens when “the only one who knows what [your] heart sounds like from the inside” is no longer here to listen? Just take a moment to let that question set in. It has been my observation that rarely someone knows another intimately enough to truly know her heart. When you do meet a person such as this, the connection is a gift to be treasured. Then, when that gift is taken from you, how do you respond? The loss of anyone you love will change you, but the loss of someone who knows your innermost self can shake you to your core.

If this has been your experience, how have you been able to cope so far? Have you done something specific you have found helpful? If so, would you be willing to share a little of your experience in the comment box, so that others can benefit from what you have learned?

For a Moment, Did I “Forget” Him?

Downton Abbey, a British period drama, has been one of those TV shows which has captured the interest of viewers from the series beginning. As early as the first episode, the writers approached the subject of grief, with the family receiving word of the deaths of loved ones who had been on the infamous Titanic maiden voyage. 

One of the members of the Crawley family, around whom the drama is set, gave us our quote for today: “Yes, but you see, I have this feeling that when I laugh or read a book or hum a tune, that it means that I’ve forgotten him, just for a moment and it’s that, that I cannot bear.” (Violet Crawley, Downton Abbey)

Have you ever felt like Violet? Have you been out with friends and for a brief few moments, you found yourself having fun and then your loved one flashed to mind, and a wave of guilt swept over you? You may have stopped in your tracks and said something to yourself, such as “how dare I be laughing?”, feeling as though this moment of pleasure was, in some way, a betrayal of your loved one.

As difficult as those moments can be, it may help you to know those are a normal part of the grief process. Finding the balance of what “was”, what “is” and what “will be” can be very challenging. The thoughts of moving into the present moment without your loved one and maybe even more the future, can be overwhelming. Accommodation of the loss into your life, at the same time trying to figure out how to live in the here and now, can appear as a never-ending tug of war of the heart. Hang on! You’ll get there, and be guaranteed you will never forget your loved one, but you will honor their memory as you choose to live, moment by moment, day by day, finding morsels of joy as you strive to walk forward.

Copyright © 2015 by Kim Smith

Social Events for Wednesday, August 19, 2015

• “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, August 19, 2015, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA
• 
• “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, August 19, 2015, from 8am-9:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA. 

Upcoming Seminar on Monday, August 10: “’Nobody Can Help You With Your Grief’ and Other Misconceptions”

This seminar has been designed to dispel some of the common misconceptions of grief. By now you have probably encountered quite a few of them, such as “Tears of grief are only a sign of weakness;” “Being upset and openly mourning means you are ‘weak’ in your faith;” “You should try not to think about the person who died on holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays,” and (my personal favorite) “After someone you love dies, the goal should be to ‘get over’ your grief as soon as possible.”

When?—August 10 from 6pm-7pm

Where?--LCCU Conference Room (#140) Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

“Grief Can Be a Burden But Also an Anchor..” (Sarah Dessen)

Moments ago, I ran across this quote from Sarah Dessen from The Truth About Forever: “Grief can be a burden but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, to how it holds you to a place.” I have to admit, as of this moment, I am unsure exactly what I think about the proposal of grief as an “anchor” in a positive context.

So, it is time to poll the “audience.” What do you think? Is there a way in which grief can have positive benefits on your life by helping you be more grounded? Why or why not?

“I Would’ve Loved You Anyway” by Trisha Yearwood

“I Would’ve Loved You Anyway” is a song about a choice made years before that the writer would repeat, even knowing the pain he or she would eventually endure. How about you? Knowing how you feel as you deal with the loss of your loved one, would you make the same choice again?

When a heart is broken, one can be tempted to second-guess decisions of the past, and think thoughts such as, “If I had only known, I would have never said ‘yes’ to the first date, and then I wouldn’t be feeling this pain.” or “If I just hadn’t gone so far out on that limb, the fall would not have been as painful.” Yet, if you could truly go back and make that choice again, with the knowledge you have now, would you really hold back or not take the plunge, or would you proclaim with the songwriter, “I Would’ve Loved You Anyway”?

“Grief Knits Two Hearts…” (4-Session Support Group Coming Soon)

I simply love the quote below and have definitely found this to be true, as I have been privileged to watch support group members connect with others and gain encouragement over the last few years. It can truly be a moment of healing when you can look into the eyes of another and see true recognition of the pain you are experiencing. You are reminded, “I really am not the only one.”

We are offering a 4-Session Support Group for our St. Joseph Hospice family and friends. The sessions will meet the first four Thursdays in August Louisiana Central Credit Union Building Conference Room 140 at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.from 6:00pm-7:30pm.

The group will discuss different aspects of the grief process, using Dr. William Worden’s Task Model of the Mourning Process as a general framework.

August 6 Accepting the Reality of the Loss

August 13 Working Through the Pain of Grief

August 20 Adjusting to an Environment in Which the Deceased is Missing

August 27 Emotionally Relocating the Deceased and Embracing Life Again

A small evening meal will be provided for each group meeting.

If you would like to register or just have questions, please call Kim at (504) 734-0140 or contact via e-mail at ksmith@stjosephhospice.com.