Have You Been Touched By Suicide? As a Result, Would You Want to Make a Difference in the Lives of Others?

I remember my introduction to the idea of suicide. I was a child and my sweet, senior adult neighbor committed suicide. I was so confused, asking many of the “why?” questions others ask. One of the struggles those left behind deal with is the sense of sheer helplessness. Yet, some of taken their helplessness and turned it around to provide help for others. The “Out of the Darkness” Community Walks are sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Please click on the graphic above to learn more about this noble endeavor and how you might be a part. The New Orleans’ area walk with take place on Sept. 13 at Audubon Park (Shelter #10/Newman Bandstand).

“Whenever You Remember”

As I was searching the internet for songs about siblings, I came across a song that not only can apply to siblings but also to a multitude of other relationships, “Whenever You Remember” by Carrie Underwood. If you have been reading this blog for any time at all, you have noticed that I believe strongly in the healing power of music. This is one of those songs which is very uplifting from a musical standpoint, but if you are missing someone, you may find your eyes “leaking” as the memories flood your mind. Let ‘em flow, “whenever you remember.”

“Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember.”

Upcoming Seminar on Monday, August 11: “’Nobody Can Help You With Your Grief’ & Other Misconceptions”

This seminar has been designed to dispel some of the common misconceptions of grief. By now you have probably encountered quite a few of them, such as “Tears of grief are only a sign of weakness;” “Being upset and openly mourning means you are ‘weak’ in your faith;” “You should try not to think about the person who died on holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays,” and (my personal favorite) “After someone you love dies, the goal should be to ‘get over’ your grief as soon as possible.”

When?—November 11 from 6pm-7pm

Where?--LCCU Conference Room (#140) Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

Sesame Street Tackles the Topic of Grief

It can be challenging to approach the topics of death, dying and grief with young children. Sesame Street has produced a short video which might help you to introduce the topic. Below the videos, you will see some information on grief, as well as some helpful links. Just click on Elmo to go to the videos.

4-Session Support Group in August, 2014

We are offering a 4-Session Support Group for our St. Joseph Hospice family and friends. The sessions will meet the first four Thursdays in August at the St. Joseph Hospice office (Suite 155 of the Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.) from 6:00pm-7:30pm.

The group will discuss different aspects of the grief process, using Dr. William Worden’s Task Model of the Mourning Process as a general framework.

August 7 Accepting the Reality of the Loss

August 14 Working Through the Pain of Grief

August 21 Adjusting to an Environment in Which the Deceased is Missing

August 28 Emotionally Relocating the Deceased and Embracing Life Again

A small evening meal will be provided for each group meeting.

If you would like to register or just have questions, please call Kim at (504) 734-0140 or contact via e-mail at ksmith@stjosephhospice.com or stjosephnober@yahoo.com.

“A Child’s Grief in Today’s World” by Hazel Woodward, LPC, NCC, CT (Webinar by The Compassionate Friends)

“Attitude Is Everything” by Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

I came across this incredible story earlier today and just have to share. One’s attitude has a tremendous affect on how one processes grief and deals with other life crises. We could all learn a lot from Jerry.

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, 'Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut way all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.'

"I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathe and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them. 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Obtained online at http://www.spiritual-endeavors.org/inspirational-stories/attitude-is-everything.htm

Is This the End or a Bend in the Road?

I speak often on the significant role one’s perspective plays in the grief process, and this poem by Helen Steiner Rice is a prime example of that. At this point, do you see the road ahead of you as the end (i.e., of happiness, of your life as well) or can you widen your vision and see the road, no matter how tough the terrain right now, as a bend in the road which will eventually lead to glimpses of sunshine and moments (if not seasons) of happiness? No matter how tough the terrain, keep walking and looking for the “bend.”

Copyright © 2014 by Kim Smith.

Social Event for Thursday, July 17, 2014

On Thursday, July 17, 2014, St. Joseph Hospice will host our “Haven of Hope” social event for the adult children of our St. Joseph Hospice patients. You are invited to attend this bi-monthly event, designed specifically to create a connection between the adult children of our St. Joseph Hospice patients. This is a social group, and NOT a support group, although you should feel a sense of support as a result of the social interaction.

For each meeting, we will provide a light meal (i.e., finger sandwiches w/dessert and coffee/tea/water). No registration needed.

For more information, please call Kim at (504) 734-0140 or contact via e-mail at stjosephnober@yahoo.com.

TIME: 6pm-7:30pm

LOCATION:

St. Joseph Hospice & Palliative Care

824 Elmwood Park Blvd. Ste. 155

New Orleans, LA 70123

Social Events on Wednesday, July 16, 2014

• “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, July 16, 2014, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., NOLA, LCCU Conference Room #140
• “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, July 16, 2014, from 10am-11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., Ste 155, NOLA, St. Joseph Bereavement Office