Monday, August 31, 2015

“Everything I Do Is Stitched with Its Color.”

Needle And Thread “Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.”– W.S. Merwin

Do you find this sentiment to be true in your own life?

  • If so, what color is the thread? Why that color?
  • As you look at the stitchwork, what picture is currently being created? How does the “special thread” add to the picture? Does it, in any way, take away from the picture you had previously been creating?
  • Will it be possible to incorporate the “special thread” into your tapestry and create a beautiful piece of art?
  • Does Hurricane Katrina also have a specific thread color? If so, do you still see its affect on the picture or have the colors of the last 10 years overtaken the strong impact of the “Katrina thread”?

Copyright © 2015 by Kim Smith

 

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Upcoming Seminar on Monday, September 14: “Complicated Mourning”

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This seminar has been designed to address the topic of complicated mourning. What are the factors predictive of complicated mourning? Is there anything you can do to keep mourning from becoming “complicated?” If so, what might that be? How do you determine whether what you are experiencing is a normal part of the grief process or something that might need some therapeutic intervention.

When?—September 14 from 6pm-7pm

Where?--LCCU Conference Room (#140) Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Did You Lose Your “Co-Rememberer?”

Little Boys Brothers Having Fun On A Swing Outdoor“The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we’d done were less real and important than they had been hours before.”

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I can’t say I had encountered the term “co-rememberer” until I read the quote above. Possibly you lost a “co-rememberer” of a specific season of your life, such as former teammate with whom you shared a common goal and accomplishments. You may, however, have lost a “co-rememberer” of a lifetime. One example of this could be a parent who has, not only known you from birth til now, but maybe that parent has remained an integral part of your life, possibly becoming your closest friend after you reached adulthood. Maybe your “co-rememberer” was your spouse, with whom you shared your hopes, dreams, pains, sorrows, for the majority of your life? What about a sibling? A sibling may be your playmate in childhood, your rival in your teen years and your best encourager in adulthood, being a part of your life for longer than a parent, spouse or child.

The loss of a “co-rememberer” is loss of your history and a loss you will need to work through. If this is the case for you, how have you attempted to capture the shared memories, so they will not be lost forever? Maybe you have created a scrapbook or a memory box, in which you have placed special pictures, sayings, clippings, and other memorabilia. Any other suggestions? If you have any, please place in the comment box below, so others can benefit from your activity or ritual.

Monday, August 10, 2015

“…The Only One Who Knows What My Heart Sounds Like from the Inside.”

Heart and stethoscope isolated on white background concept for healthcare and diagnosis medical card“No one can know how much I love you, because you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.”  (Unknown Author)

What happens when “the only one who knows what [your] heart sounds like from the inside” is no longer here to listen? Just take a moment to let that question set in. It has been my observation that rarely someone knows another intimately enough to truly know her heart. When you do meet a person such as this, the connection is a gift to be treasured. Then, when that gift is taken from you, how do you respond? The loss of anyone you love will change you, but the loss of someone who knows your innermost self can shake you to your core.

If this has been your experience, how have you been able to cope so far? Have you done something specific you have found helpful? If so, would you be willing to share a little of your experience in the comment box, so that others can benefit from what you have learned?

Monday, August 3, 2015

For a Moment, Did I “Forget” Him?

Downton abbeyDownton Abbey, a British period drama, has been one of those TV shows which has captured the interest of viewers from the series beginning. As early as the first episode, the writers approached the subject of grief, with the family receiving word of the deaths of loved ones who had been on the infamous Titanic maiden voyage. 

One of the members of the Crawley family, around whom the drama is set, gave us our quote for today: “Yes, but you see, I have this feeling that when I laugh or read a book or hum a tune, that it means that I’ve forgotten him, just for a moment and it’s that, that I cannot bear.” (Violet Crawley, Downton Abbey)

Have you ever felt like Violet? Have you been out with friends and for a brief few moments, you found yourself having fun and then your loved one flashed to mind, and a wave of guilt swept over you? You may have stopped in your tracks and said something to yourself, such as “how dare I be laughing?”, feeling as though this moment of pleasure was, in some way, a betrayal of your loved one.

As difficult as those moments can be, it may help you to know those are a normal part of the grief process. Finding the balance of what “was”, what “is” and what “will be” can be very challenging. The thoughts of moving into the present moment without your loved one and maybe even more the future, can be overwhelming. Accommodation of the loss into your life, at the same time trying to figure out how to live in the here and now, can appear as a never-ending tug of war of the heart. Hang on! You’ll get there, and be guaranteed you will never forget your loved one, but you will honor their memory as you choose to live, moment by moment, day by day, finding morsels of joy as you strive to walk forward.

Copyright © 2015 by Kim Smith

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Social Events for Wednesday, August 19, 2015

  • “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, August 19, 2015, from 10am-Heart2Heart-Connections-Graphic_thum_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA
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  • “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, August 19, 2015, from 8am-9:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA.