Sunday, May 31, 2015

Social Events for Wednesday, June 17, 2015 (NOTE: NEW TIME & LOCATION FOR "COFFEE & HANDSHAKES")

  • “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, June 17, 2015, from 10am-Heart2Heart-Connections-Graphic_thum_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA
  • Coffee--Handshakes----JPG_thumb2_thumb[3]_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb
  • “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, June 17, 2015, from 8am-9:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA. 

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Upcoming Seminar on Monday, June 8: “Seasons of Grief”

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This seminar has been designed to guide participants as they look at a full calendar year and the myriad of events (i.e., anniversaries, birthdays, hurricane season, Mardi Gras, changes in weather, JazzFest, tax season) which may trigger emotions in the individual griever. When you can see the events coming and prepare a plan to deal with them, the events are often less painful or some of them can even become chances to make new memories, if handled in a thoughtful manner.

When?—June 8 from 6pm-7pm

Where?--LCCU Conference Room (#140) Louisiana Central Credit Union Building at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd.

Monday, May 18, 2015

“Women Do Not Understand Male Grief….” Do You Agree?

I was exploring The Grief Toolbox website a moment ago and came upon a most Grief Toolboxinteresting article by Mark Mercer entitled “What Women Should Know About Male Grief. Here is how the article begins:

"Men grieve far more than we show or discuss.”

The first thing women should know about male grief is that we have a lot of it. It is pushed into many darkened corners of our lives. We try to stay very, very busy.

Per my observations over the years, I definitely agree with Mr. Mercer’s opening statements. What about you? Whether male or female, do you agree that “men grieve far more than [they] show or discuss”? If you would like to comment publicly, use the comment box below.

He also tells one particular story I would like you to read and ponder:

Portrait sad menSo whenever possible men resort to physical expressions of grief. In its healthier forms this would be some type of vigorous manual labor. A bereaved father once told me that he got a pile of wood and spent hours in his workshop, sawing boards. He wasn't building anything, just sawing. He was conscious that he was releasing powerful feelings by the strenuous and repetitive exercise, which served no purpose whatever other than to be strenuous, repetitive, and release powerful feelings. It would be fair to say that he converted his tears into sweat.

What other physical expressions of grief have you observed, either in male or female grievers? The first example which comes to my mind is mourning through an athletic venue, whether running, boxing, swimming, etc. Any examples you can think of and would like to share so others might better understand this topic?

There are many other points I could pull out and comment on, but my favorite line in the article is this one: “Women do not understand male grief. That is largely because men don't understand it either.” For any of the male readers of this blog, do you agree? If so, why or why not? I would love to receive some feedback from you, either via the comment box or at ksmith@stjosephhospice.com.

Copyright © 2015 by Kim Smith

Monday, May 11, 2015

“Wings of a Butterfly” by Jimmy Scott

I cannot possibly tell you the number of times our bereaved have been comforted with the appearance of a butterfly. I ran across this sweet song today and hope it may warms your heart.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Social Event on Thursday, May 21, 2015: “Haven of Hope” for Adult Children & Grandchildren

On Thursday, May 21, 2015, St. Joseph Hospice will host our “Haven of Hope” Haven of Hope Graphic with bordersocial event for the adult children of our St. Joseph Hospice patients. You are invited to attend this bi-monthly event, designed specifically to create a connection between the adult children & grandchildren of our St. Joseph Hospice patients. This is a social group, and NOT a support group, although you should feel a sense of support as a result of the social interaction.
For each meeting, we will provide a light meal (i.e., finger sandwiches w/dessert and tea/water). No registration needed. For more information, please call Kim at (504) 734-0140 or contact via e-mail at ksmith@stjosephhospice.com.


TIME: 6pm-7:30pm


LOCATION:
St. Joseph Hospice & Palliative Care
824 Elmwood Park Blvd.
LCCU Conference Room 140
New Orleans, LA 70123










Thursday, May 7, 2015

Mother’s Day Edition: Life Lessons (2015 Posting)

“Honor the life lessons you learned from your mother.”

(From Grieving the Death of a Mother by Harold Ivan Smith)

What better way could you honor the memory of your mother this Mother’s Day than to reflect upon the lessons you learned from her and to put one or more of them into practice?

Lesson Learned: _____________________________________________________

How I Will Begin Applying This Lesson: __________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Monday, May 4, 2015

“The Hardest Part Was….”

the hardest part

Many times in our groups, a discussion arises around “the hardest part” of the participants’ grief journey so far. Often, what they anticipated to be the most difficult challenges were not as bad as they thought they would be, but another hurdle hit them seemingly out of nowhere and sent them reeling. Here are just a few examples I have heard:

“The hardest part was….”

  • the day I had to check the “widowed” box on my tax return.
  • when I had to be hospitalized and realized you would not be there to comfort and advocate for me.
  • when I saw our first grandchild graduate from high school and knew just how proud you would have been.
  • witnessed the birth of _______ and knew just how excited you would have been.

So, how about you? If you were to finish the phrase “The hardest part was ____________________________________________,” what would you place in the blank and why? Feel free to share your response in the comment section below or via e-mail at ksmith@stjosephhospice.com.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Mother’s Day Edition: Might Forgiveness Be A Good Gift? (2015 Posting)

clip_image002Even the best relationships between mothers and their children have moments of “I wish I’d said” or “I wish I hadn’t done.” Those moments are on both the parental and the child side of the relationship.
One of the biggest hurdles in the grief process is unforgiveness. The unforgiveness could be something you hold against your mother, something for which you feel you didn’t receive her forgiveness, or forgiveness you are withholding from yourself. Might this Mother’s Day be a good day to give the gift of forgiveness?

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Social Events for Wednesday, May 20, 2015 (NOTE: NEW TIME & LOCATION FOR "COFFEE & HANDSHAKES")

  • “Heart2Heart Connections” for Widows – Wednesday, May 20, 2015, from 10am-Heart2Heart-Connections-Graphic_thum_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb11:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA
  • Coffee--Handshakes----JPG_thumb2_thumb[3]_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb
  • “Coffee & Handshakes” for Widowers – Wednesday, May 20, 2015, from 8am-9:30am at 824 Elmwood Park Blvd., LCCU Conference Room 140, NOLA.  

Friday, May 1, 2015

“What Year Is Good for Your Child to Die?” (Carol Anne Collum)

Mother, Floral BackgroundAs this Mother’s Day is fast-approaching, my heart aches for mothers who are missing their children especially on that day. “A Letter to God” by Carol Anne Cullum is one mother’s expression of her grief regarding her adult son, who died of a brain aneurysm. I suggest you have tissue ready before you read her writing. However, please don’t avoid reading it either. Whether you are a parent who has had a child die or you are someone who can’t even imagine being in that position, I believe her writing will touch your heart. For those of us who can only imagine the pain she is feeling, reading her heartfelt expression may help us better understand those around us who have been called to walk a similar path to hers.

In her writing she brings up the point that those around her do not know what to say to her, and so they often, in their feeble attempts to comfort, say things such as: “Be grateful you had him for so many years." She goes on to respond with the question: “What year is good for your child to die?” As we all know, there is no appropriate response except silence. My wish is that this question will remind each of us to be very careful in our choice of words when speaking to those who are grieving, realizing silent support of your presence may be the best “advice” you can give to them.

Note also this section of her prayer:

So, let me feel calm. Let me breathe deeply. Be with me and hold my hand in this deep and transforming pain. I now carry this darkness with me on my back and in my heart, always. It is my constant burden and my companion. Lord, there is not a single minute of my life when this loss is not etched so keenly into my brain and heart, whether it is in the middle of a busy day or in those choking moments of grief in the solitary dark of night.

If you might feel so lead, please take a moment to pray (whatever that might mean to you) for those who will be missing their children especially this Mother’s Day (or Father’s Day) and consider giving them the “gift of your presence.”

 

Copyright © 2015 by Kim Smith